


Drifting

by MadameAngel



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Canon Het Relationship, F/M, Imprinting, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 15:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameAngel/pseuds/MadameAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Obviously, the quotation is borrowed from Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.</p><p>Originally published on fanfiction.net 2009</p></blockquote>





	Drifting

_"Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was - my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self - disconnected from me in that second - snip, snip, snip - and floated up into space._

_I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was._

_Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing - the very center of the universe._

_I could see that now - how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain._

_The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood._

_It was the baby girl in the blond vampire's arms that held me here now._

_Renesmee."_

How well I remember that day. But that was a long time ago. I suppose seven years would seem longer to a human, but time changes humans. Time doesn't change us. Or the vampires. But it changes her. Nessie has been growing at an alarming rate since she was born.  _Before_  she was born… She's stopped now, though. She looks more or less like a 17-year-old girl, like everyone said she would.

And she is beautiful. Her hair darkened, it a darker red with tiny gold-bronze highlights, the same color as Edward's hair. Her eyes are the same color brown that Bella's used to be. Bella's eyes are the same gold as the rest of them now.

Renesmee loved me when she was little. As a kid, I was like her favorite brother. She followed me everywhere, and was happy to just to sit and watch me as I worked on my car. She wasn't allowed to go to school, she grew too fast for that. I suppose she could go to high school or college now, if she wanted to. And her and I could go anywhere. We aren't bound to Forks like the Cullens are. We don't  _sparkle_. If only Bella could wrap her head around the fact that I can protect Renesmee anywhere, we'd be free.

That is, if she would have me. I wasn't sure when it happened. I guess it was when I went back to La Push. Sue Clearwater was killed in a car accident, leaving Lea and Seth orphaned. I went to take care of them until Sam and Emily had the adoption stuff all finalized. I got back a couple of days ago, and was only gone for a few weeks, but it changed everything. When I got back, I knew that Nessie was already lost to me.

Apparently she had finally enrolled at Forks High School, as Edward's "cousin," and yet  _another_  Cullen foster-child.

When I walked in the door of the Cullen's house after being gone, Bella and Renesmee both danced over to give me a hug. But instead of suggesting a hunt, or a run in the forest, as she usually did, she quietly slipped back into an armchair in the corner and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Derrick, I'm back. I just had to say hi to my friend Jacob…"

Her words sent a blow through me like a battering ram. I noticed that the room had fallen eerily silent. Every single one of the Cullens had frozen. The only sounds in the room were my accelerating heartbeat, Renesmee's fluttering heartbeat, and the quiet music of her voice as she talked to Derrick, completely oblivious to everything around her.

I looked around the room, moving only my eyes. My gaze was met with the backs of perfect heads, the sides of porcelain faces, as all of the Cullens looked away. Finally my black eyes met a pair of golden ones, set in a pale, heart-shaped face. But Bella simply stared back at me, her face devoid of any emotion. Only her eyes moved, flickering once to Edward, then back to me. Slowly, I turned my head to look at him. I knew that he understood the situation perfectly, but  _I_  couldn't read  _his_ thoughts.

But I  _could_  read his eyes, and he didn't close them down soon enough.

Renesmee had fallen for Derrick. She thought she was in love with him.

Despair rocked through my body, and I began to shake.

"Go," Edward said softly, placing his hand on my shoulder, the very image of his father, Carlisle. His voice sounded very far away. I started towards the glass back door, trying to fight the tremors now rolling down my spine. I reached for the doorknob as Bella spoke.

"I'm sorry, Jake."

And I exploded, shattering the window as I raced toward the river. I cleared it in a single bound, and felt the earth shudder under my paws as I landed.

 _Dude, what's wrong?_  I heard Seth wonder.

 _Get out, Seth,_  I commanded, accidentally forcing my will upon him with the voice of the Alpha Wolf. But not before he had seem my thoughts, and felt the crippling pain that coursed through me.

 _Sorry,_  he said as he faded away.

I ran southeast, not stopping until I reached the base of Mount Rainier. I looked up at it for a few moments, and then began to run again. I ran without a pause through the thickening clouds, until I reached the Columbia Crest summit. My lungs burned from the thin oxygen, but up here I felt free to think.

I replayed the scene at the Cullens' in my head, trying to decipher why Bella wouldn't tell me. With a sickening jolt, I remembered Bella's pregnancy, when Edward had realized he could hear the baby's thoughts (she wasn't "Renesmee" yet). I remembered how betrayed I had felt when Edward decided he loved the baby after all. How they were going to keep it, even if it would kill Bella. Now they would side with her, even if it would kill me.

As I was sure it would. When the object of an Imprint died, the entire pack grieved until they thought they would die. How was this any different? I loved her will every cell in my body. But she didn't love me, not anymore. I felt I would die from the pain of it. I laid back my ears and howled. The sound echoed back to me from the surrounding mountains. Aftera few moments, I heard other wolves howling back. Real wolves.  _Normal_  wolves.

I sat in silence for a while. It started to snow. Pure, white, crystalline flakes began to fall, melting in the air when they reached me. I knew I had no other option. I would love Renesmee until the day I died.  _If_  I died. That was the way it worked. I would be with her until she died. And since she never would, neither would I.

I would be whatever she needed me to be, forever. A lover, a brother a friend. An enemy. My brow furrowed as I considered this new possibility. If she needed me to be her enemy, if she needed to hate me, it would happen. I had no choice.

But, someday, Derrick would grow old, and move on, as human boys do. And when he did, I would be there.

But until then, I would endure this pain. I had to. And it didn't hurt  _too_  bad, not really. Because Renesmee was happy, and it pleased me to see her so happy. So I could wait.

What choice did I have, anyway?

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, the quotation is borrowed from Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.
> 
> Originally published on fanfiction.net 2009


End file.
